Jolly Ol' England

Don't use the word "grass", walk through your front door, make sarcastic remarks to the neighbors, or wear a single golf glove.

You'll for certain get an ASBO.

ASBO is not related to tennis elbow, nor a difficult-to-yield hunting bow.

No, it's an Anti Social Behavior Order. You see, in the land of Churchhill and Tolkein if you happen to inadvertently threaten someone through the use of a single golf glove - you could be ordered by a Judge to change your behavior. It's a totally open-ended sentencing with no proof of evidence required. Any rumor, lie, or shifty eye look is Good Enough(tm).

Picking your nose in public? ASBO!
Unsuccessful suicide? ASBO!!
Calling a politician a stinkin' liar? ASBO!!!

Why, I can't think of a single thing that I couldn't fix with as ASBO. Being American, I think I need an ASBO gun. It's time to start picking off the bums, people that cut me off on the road, and pretty much anyone who glanced at me funny.

Heck, we could have an "American Asbo" contest on TV and people could be voting for it. That would make it Democratic and all. That way the poor Indian kid with funky hair could finally win.

More ridiculous fun here.

sources:
A 13-year-old was served an order banning him from using the word "grass" anywhere in England and Wales. (Source—Statewatch ASBOwatch)

In February 2003, a 16-year-old boy was banned from showing his tattoos, wearing a single golf glove, or wearing a balaclava in public anywhere in the country. He was also forbidden from congregating in public places in groups of more than three people. (Source—Statewatch ASBOwatch)

In May 2003 a 19-year-old was banned from entering his own home on his release from prison. (Source—Statewatch ASBOwatch)

The oldest recipient of an order to date is an 87-year-old who among other things is forbidden from being sarcastic to his neighbours (July 2003). He was subsequently found guilty of breaking the terms of his order on three separate occasions. He awaits sentencing but the judge has already made it clear that "there will be no prison for an 88 year old man". (Source—Statewatch ASBOwatch)